By Jim Kinghorn
Welcome to the year 2000 and 14 everyone! Think there’s nothing goin on? Au contraire, mon frere. The local Re/Max Real Estate office moved ‘round the corner and down the street to the former location of Birdie’s Antiques and Collectables, now closed. A new antique and collectible store is opening next to Towne Square Park. Stone Creek Coffee and Branches and Blooms are under new ownership, and Hand Me Downs and Rachael’s Place are in the process of closing their doors. D. Aaron Keena’s NW Coin Gallery moved from Jersey Street to the corner of Main and McClaine, Cadence Vintage Store opened in the Hartman Building, Aire Serv Heating and Cooling moved from the Hartman Building to North Water Street and Steve Vaughn moved Silverton Import Auto from Airport Road to North First, next to Aire Serv…The Senior Center Thrift shop moved to Lewis Street and Paul and Amber Kethley are the new owners of Silver Creek Coffee. Si vous plait?
BREAKING NEWS: The mysterious, double secret society just emerged from its secure, undisclosed location to announce the Silverton award winners…
First Citizen is Kyle Palmer; Lifetime Achievent goes to Rick Lewis; Distinguished Service: Kevin Griffin and Business of the Year: Seven Brides Brewing.
The committee members then saw their shadows and quickly retreated back into their bunker….. Mark your calender for The Silverton Chamber of Commerce First Citizen Banquet on Feb. 15 where the winners will be honored at The Oregon Garden.
Have you ever noticed how dogs spin around while choosing just the right spot to do their business? Turns out scientists have discovered that most breeds are most comfortable when they align their body axis with the Earth’s magnetic field in a north to south direction while relieving themselves (tried it myself and it is more comfortable but the grass still tickles my rear end). The Man finds all that interesting but is left wondering about the conversation at the scientist’s class reunion. ” Bob is a doctor, Mary is a lawyer, John is a businessman and Steve, what do you do for a living?”…”Uh,… I watch dogs poop…”
Did’ja see the shiny new SUV the Mount Angel Police officers have been cruising around town in? Nice to know that your next trip to the pokey will include “that new car smell”…
There’s a gaggle of new laws your friends in Salem have cooked up for us that have taken effect. The minimum wage has increased 15 cents… but if you’re a smoker, the cigarette tax went up 13 cents (the state giveth and the state taketh away). Minors aren’t allowed to be tan without a note from their doctor (leaving youngsters to deal with being both pimply and pasty). Prospective employers won’t be able to get access to applicants’ social media accounts so they can’t wade through your OMG’s, LOL’s, selfies and Justin Bieber references anymore. New mothers will now be able to take their placentas home(?!?)….(as someone who has “participated” in the birth of three children, I must say I can’t think of anything I was more happy to leave behind for someone else to clean up). There is a new law designating Aug. 9 as Boring and Dull Day in honor of the Clackamas County town and its sister city, Dull, Scotland (and no, The Man did not make this up…). Glad to see our tax dollars are hard at work but at least we don’t have the dopey (pun most definitely intended, dude) new law like Washington and Colorado…..
See you on the street….
