It’s a whole new year and I’m pumped. I know that this will be the best year ever! It’s not that I have a crystal ball or that I have a winning Power Ball ticket. It’s just that I know this year will be up to me. Luck or fate or whatever else influences the events that surround me will […]
By Carl Sampson I have a lot of friends in the banking industry. Tons. Bunches. Bushels. Boatloads. Rafts. Anyway you say it, bankers are my friends. They must be, or they wouldn’t send letters to me all of the time. I should explain. In the past year or so, I have received 64 letters in the mail from banks. Each […]
By Carl Sampson I don’t know about you but generally speaking, I’m against killing. I think there’s been way too much of it through the years. Students of history know this but I sometimes wonder why other folks haven’t figured that out. And I’m not just talking about the Middle East. I’m talking about everywhere, including capital punishment. Enough is a […]
By Carl Sampson It’s political season. We have gubernatorial groupies to the right of us, senatorial sycophants to the left of us, mayoral wannabes in front of us and city council candidates behind us. Don’t expect me to endorse one or the other. I subscribe to the political truism that no candidate is either as good as his supporters advocate […]
By Carl Sampson I’ve been thinking a lot lately about all of the things that are bad for me. Most food is bad for me, so are most drinks. So are things like television and rap music. Don’t forget about all of that other dangerous stuff, like fire-eating and tightrope-walking. Oh, and surfing, especially when great white sharks are around. […]
By Carl Sampson I just got back from a long weekend in San Francisco, a city I hadn’t visited in 29 years — since my wife and I were there on our honeymoon. Oh, I’ve been through the airport a few times and took a quick trip through the west side of the city and over the Golden Gate Bridge, […]
By Carl Sampson I just had another birthday last month. Yep, I’m 16, and other than a touch of dyslexia I feel pretty good. I know what you’re thinking. That’s not much of a joke, but what do you expect from an old duffer like me? According to society at large, once you’ve marked your sixth decade on this planet, […]
By Carl Sampson June is a big month for yours truly. Not only is my birthday in June, so is our anniversary. Throw in Father’s Day and you have a trifecta of festivities. Every year I am asked the same question: What present do you want? And every year I answer the same: a red Corvette. While that may not […]
By Carl Sampson When I was a teenager in Philadelphia, spring meant one thing. It was the time to pack a picnic lunch and take the girlfriend to Valley Forge Park. For those of you who haven’t been there, the park consists of wide open grassy fields and forests. It was where Gen. George Washington’s troops spent the winter in 1777 […]
By Carl Sampson I knew it would happen sooner or later. I call it the Oregon gas problem. It started with a phone call from our son in California. “Do you know how to pump gas?” John asked. He had borrowed a friend’s car and was trying to put some gas in it. “Well, I’ll walk you through it,” I […]
By Carl Sampson It has been 9 days, 10 hours, and 42 sec…. I mean, 43 seconds. That’s how long it’s been since I drank my last cup of coffee. I didn’t quit because I h-h-had to. I mean, it’s not like I was a-a-addicted or anything. I-I-I could quit anytime I wanted. After all, c-c-coffee is just another drink, […]
By Carl Sampson In general, I resist those “Hallmark” holidays. They’re the holidays that didn’t even exist until card companies and retailers figured out they could guilt us into buying a card for one thing or another. There’s Secretaries’ Day – now it’s called Administrative Professionals’ Day. And there’s Grandparents’ Day – I suppose I’ll feel differently if I ever […]
By Carl Sampson A lot of people make New Year’s resolutions to do all sorts of good things — lose weight, clean out their closets, start exercising or floss their teeth more than once a month. My resolution is similar to those, but easier. I’m going through all of my Facebook friends and “unfriending” the politicians. I’ve about had it […]
By Carl Sampson The winter holidays means the invitations will be arriving for parties, get-togethers, reunions and parole hearings. With the exception of the latter, most gatherings are fun. It’s always a kick to get together with family, friends, co-workers – anyone – to celebrate. I can think of no better way of doing that than enjoying good food and […]
By Carl Sampson Like a lot of people, I sing in the shower. It’s not pretty, visually or otherwise, but I always feel better after belting out a couple of songs. I never really noticed it before but the songs I sing you really don’t hear much anymore. They’re happy songs. A lot of songs these days are tragic or […]
By Carl Sampson I had a few extra minutes so I thought I’d solve another one of those “impossible” political problems that send the folks in Washington, D.C., running around hollering and waving their arms. It’s the cost of a college education. Everyone from the president on down says education is too expensive, but no one seems to know what […]
By Carl Sampson Whew! I think we’ve just about made it through another summer. Thank goodness for that. Summers wear me out but in a good way. This year, we had all four of our boys at home, plus a random selection of cousins, friends, exchange students and others I never really did identify. The ones who were working all […]
By Carl Sampson I recently turned 60. Yep, the big six-oh. I feel pretty good about it, too. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever felt better. I mean, I’m not going to run any marathons or anything, but I feel pretty good. As they say at NASA, all systems are nominal. At least, I did feel good until I […]
In my life, there exists a huge gap. No, I don’t mean between my champagne taste and my Kool-Aid budget. Rather, the biggest gap in my life is between concept and reality. Here’s what I mean. As a concept, I want a motorcycle. Specifically, a Harley-Davidson. I like everything about them. They look cool. They make lots of noise – […]
By Carl Sampson Tap, tap, tap. “Is this microphone on? “It is? Good.” The shuffling of papers is heard in the background. “Four score and seven years ago. … Oops, wrong speech. “And so my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country…. “Nope, that’s not it either. Wait, […]
By Carl Sampson I don’t know how many rock music fans are among the readers of this column, but I’d bet there are one or two. Or ten thousand. I was thinking the other day about John Cougar Mellencamp as I attended a luncheon sponsored by the Stayton/Sublimity Chamber of Commerce. Mellencamp wrote a song called “Small Town.” Its lyrics […]
By Carl Sampson I’ve never been accused of being hip. Or trendy. Or cool — or anything else associated with modern society. Even my mother claimed that when I was a teenager I was “17 going on 70.” Well, that was before. I am now absolutely the hippest dude around. The chief techie at work laid a brand new iPhone […]
By Carl Sampson I’m pretty sure I broke the law today. Yep, I and thousands of other drivers who picked up their cell phones broke a state law against yacking while driving. Don’t get me wrong. I fully understand the dangers of driving while talking on the cell phone. I completely agree that everyone in a car should be quiet […]
By Carl Sampson By and large, I think mothers are under appreciated. I can just see approximately half of the readers of this column nodding in agreement. Though I’ve never personally been a mother, I do know that good mothers are in short supply. I had a mother myself. I suppose I still do, technically speaking. She’s been dead a […]
By Carl Sampson I’m not much for New Year’s resolutions. To me, a resolution is something I’d like to do during the New Year but probably won’t. Like the four times I resolved to lose 30 pounds. Or the time I resolved either to go jogging or work out every day. I never got past the “either.” My resolutions were […]
