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A Grin at the End: Boring is not just a place in Oregon – it’s the plates in Oregon

By Carl SampsonCarl Sampson

Am I the only person who thinks Oregon has the ugliest license plates in the country?

I mean, come on.

The license plate has a scraggly tree looking like it belongs in Charlie Brown Christmas special. With it are the barely visible outlines of some random hills and a few more little trees.

For a state with the natural beauty of Oregon, this license plate is simply unacceptable. It’s not a federal case or anything. It’s just that I think Oregon deserves better.

Yes, you can get a Crater Lake plate, a salmon plate or a Cultural Trust plate. Don’t ask me what the artwork is on the cultural plate. I guess I don’t have enough culture to figure that out.

You can also support your college alma mater and you can honor firefighters, the Lions Club, Masons, the Elks, the troops and bicycles. Veterans also can get a variety of plates. But most of them still have that nasty-looking tree.

Whenever I see license plates from other states, I take note of their designs. South Dakota has Mount Rushmore. Several states have flags or outlines of the state. Others feature sunrises, tequila and otherwise. Wyoming has a cowboy. Texas has a cowboy and a space shuttle – now there’s an interesting pair.

On the Washington, D.C., plate is printed “Taxation without Representation.” This refers to its lack of any votes in Congress and barely beats out New Hampshire’s “Live Free or Die” slogan for the orneriest license plate.

My favorite license plate of all is from the Northwest Territories of Canada. It’s the shape of a polar bear. Those folks get an “A” for originality.

Ohio and North Carolina have a rivalry over which state can claim the Wright Brothers. Ohio’s plates say “Birthplace of Aviation,” noting that the Wright brothers were born there. North Carolina, home of Kitty Hawk, where that first flight took place, has “First in Flight” on its plates.

I assume neither state knows that Sublimity pre-dates their link to the Wrights. Milton Wright, Wilber and Orville’s father, was the first principal and teacher at Sublimity College from 1857 to 1859. The building that housed the college – it closed in 1871 – was later sold the Catholic church to be a convent.

Oregon could lay claim to the issue by proclaiming itself “Father of Flight.”

Or how about “Who’s Flight’s Daddy?”

Or maybe “Flight Club.”

Or “Flee or Flight.”

Or – here’s my favorite – “The Wright Stuff.”

What I’m getting at is this. Oregon may have the worst economy in the U.S., and it may have one of the highest unemployment rates. There’s not a lot we can do about that.

But, by golly, there’s no way we should settle for a second-rate license plate.

I propose that we have a contest to come up with a new design for Oregon’s license plate. Whatever the outcome, I’m sure of one thing: It’ll be better than what we have now.

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