By James Day
It will be hard to “bare” the deep disappointment you’ll feel (and The Man feels your pain) when you find out that you missed the annual event for the society of skivvies, The 2016 Portland No Pants MAX Ride. Apparently the event consists of showing up to ride a MAX train with a large group of like-minded folks sans trou down to Pioneer Courthouse Square so you can cavort and dance the Can-Can…..Why, you might ask? Noooo idea….. I’m sure it’s all in fun, but how do they even come up with this stuff? I can honestly say that I have never been in a crowded train, bus or airplane when the thought of how much better this ride would be if I had no pants even entered my mind… Keep Portland Weird? I think it stays weird pretty much on its own…
It’s a sad day for mustard lovers as the Benedictine Sisters of Mount Angel have ceased production of their popular Monastery Mustard. Choosing core values over condiments, the Sisters will focus their efforts on their ministries including Shalom Prayer Center, Mission Benedict and St. Joseph’s Shelter. The small amount of remaining inventory is available at the Shalom Gift Shop while supplies last, but you better stock up because soon you’ll have to switch to a brand that probably won’t cut the mustard…
With the arrival of Dutch Bros. on the local java scene, Dixon “Sleepy” Bledsoe says Silverton now has 39 places for you to get your cup of liquid energy….Too many, you ask? Maybe, but The Man likes to think of it as a Caffeine Enhancement Zone….
Speaking of McClaine and Westfield, did you notice the new stop sign on the access road from the Safeway complex down to Silverton Road? Judging by the drivers breezing right through it, not many are aware of the new request to impede your forward progress… It’s a big, red thing that says S T O P… Please make a note of it… That is all…
The Man’s useless fact of the month: The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds
Even if you don’t know your feed dogs from your fat quarters, plan to attend the Stitches in Bloom Quilt Show up at The Oregon Garden Jan. 22 – 24. The Man has gotten a sneak peak of some of this year’s entries and can assure you these are no mere blankets made out of Aunt Edna’s old sweaters… These stitchers are creating some amazing art…. Go to oregongarden.org for more information
After 36 years of preparing Silverton’s tax returns (The Man would rather have 36 root canals…), Jerry Steffen has passed the abacus over at Clear & Practical Accounting Solutions to long time partner Jon Haynes. Although I’m guessing that Jerry won’t be able to stay completely away from the calculator this tax season, but let’s hope that April 15 finds him somewhere warm with his toes in the sand…
“We’re lumberjacks and we’re OK”….my apologies to the Monty Python song but with the recent sequoia tree removal at the old high school comes word that two of the huge cedar trees by city hall unfortunately will be coming down soon as well. These big old trees have been causing problems with safety, foundation damage and dropping debris for years so they have to go but The Man for one will be sad to see these stately giants meet their demise…. But on the bright side, the decrease in the local plant inventory may soon be replaced by a pot farm…Far out, dude….
Got a news tip, a fact, a maybe fact, a bit of information, a hunch or some sound old insight or a strong opinion? Whatever it may be, share it with The Man, who may share it with Our Town readers.
See you on the street.
