Reconnecting: The digital age is changing high school class reunions

By Omie Drawhorn

It’s that time of year again. The temperatures rise, the kids are hitting the pool, and people are able to stroll through town without fear of being caught in a downpour – well, most of the time, at least. And yes, for some it’s high school class reunion time. It’s a chance to catch up with old friends and in today’s fast-paced world, go back to a simpler time.

For Leah Kaye, a 2001 Silverton High School graduate, her class 10-year reunion this summer will be a virtual experience. Living on the East Coast and a demanding job will keep her from attending. Luckily, she has Facebook to keep her up to date. While she says it’s hardly a substitution for seeing her classmates face to face, it’s better than missing out all together.

“I imagine after the reunion there will be photos posted to Facebook that will simply make me more sad that I had to miss the event,” she said.

High school reunions used to be the primary way people got to see what their former classmates who had moved away were up to, who got married, and who got that amazing job. Now, thanks to social networking Web sites like Facebook, they are able to stay in touch without phone calls, emails, or even attending class reunions. They can stay up to date with their former pals without ever having to see them in person.

“I am not much for talking on the phone or even lengthy individual emails, so Facebook has been a good way for me to see what other folks are doing. When something big happens like marriage or kids, I can find out easily and send my congratulations while saving on the cost of postage,” Kaye said.

Judy Nunn, a member of the Silverton High School alumni board said high school reunions are just as prevalent as they have always been. As far as the frequency of reunions, every class is different.  Some have them every five years and some never get back together.

Kelly Harris, another 2001 Silverton High grad, has been planning the class reunion from her home in California. She said even though social networking Web sites like Facebook make it easy to stay in touch with – and look in on – your high school contemporaries, it doesn’t quite take the place of seeing an old friend face-to-face.

“I’ve actually had a couple people jokingly tell me they’re not coming (to the reunion) for that exact reason,” she said. “Everyone is different, but for me communicating over the Internet is nothing like connecting in person – the hugs, hearing their voices and listening to their laughter – there’s nothing better.  It brings back so many memories and I can’t wait.”

Harris said she stays in touch with many of her high school friends, both on and offline.

“I’m a little crazy – I still send some people birthday cards in the mail!” she said.

Darla McVay, who is planning her Silverton High School 20th reunion,  agrees that despite the ease and passive way of staying in touch that social networking sites offer, nothing quite replaces the in-person interaction that goes with reunions.

“I appreciate being able to see that I have a classmate living in Japan or Austria, or being able to see that a classmate just became a mom or even a grandma,” McVay said. “For some of us, that may be enough contact.  With Facebook though, I don’t get the whole story of how they got there.  It is in sitting across from one another that you learn the stories that have shaped people.  Real person-to-person contact is still important, and I think reunions give us an opportunity to connect more personally.

“I think a reunion also provides that opportunity to reminisce and say, ‘remember when’ with a group of people who have shared experiences. “

Kaye said Facebook has allowed her to keep in touch with many people from high school she perhaps wouldn’t have under other circumstances.

“On Facebook, it is perfectly acceptable to ‘friend’ someone who perhaps you were not even real friends with in real life,” she said. “With so many phone numbers and addresses changing all the time, it would have been impossible to keep up with even a few people, let alone the people who I maybe had only one or two classes with.”

Harris said that in terms of planning the reunion, reaching old classmates and planning the logistics of the reunion has been a little bit easier with the use of Facebook.

“I think it helps out a lot,” Harris said. “It’s so much easier to find people you’ve had a hard time rounding up, and it’s a great way to let people know when it is so they can save the date before the invites go out.  It’s also nice to get a gauge on what people would like to do just by asking and getting fairly quick responses.”
McVay has had similar success with Facebook as a planning tool.

She said it has been a great resource for tracking down classmates.  Along with a few others who have helped plan the reunion, she created a Facebook page for the reunion which has been used to link about 90 classmates.

“It is wonderful to be able to send out group messages when we have an update or change to announce rather than having to contact each classmate individually,” McVay said. “Facebook is so popular that even if a classmate doesn’t subscribe, they know someone who does who can pass on the info.”

Harris said at this point 84 people, including guests, have responded. The 2001 class had 300 students. She said it has been a challenge to get firm commitments from people on whether or not they are attending.
McVay said currently there are 40 students attending the class of 1991’s 20th reunion dinner, 60 people including dates.

She said as the date gets closer, people are forced to make choices.

“People realize they are busy and I don’t think reunions are always a priority.  Having said that, we do have some classmates traveling from far away to come to the event, so I think the importance of the reunion depends on the individual.”