Bullying: How to recognize and address the problem

By Kristine Thomas

Mark Twain Middle School Principal Les Keele doesn’t know how many of his students are being bullied on a daily or weekly basis but he knows it’s happening.

“If one student is being bullied, it’s a problem,” Keele said.

Before school started in September, Keele researched ways to prevent bullying, a nationwide problem.

“Bullying is a problem this school and the community needs to address,” Keele said.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Service’s “Stop Bullying Now” campaign defines bullying as an aggressive, intentional behavior that involves an imbalance of power or strength and is typically repeated over time.

Once a month, Keele holds an assembly where he addresses bullying, from what it is to what to do about it.

“We all have a stake in stepping in and doing something about bullying,” Keele said. “We want to send a message to the bully that his or her behavior is not OK.”

Across the district, principals are taking steps to address bullying, from teaching prevention curriculum in elementary school to observing students’ behavior.

Silverton High School Assistant Principal Jodi Drescher said the school’s staff creates a safe environment where students can focus on learning and having fun rather than on watching their backs.

While most people think of bullying as something physical, it’s more often verbal, social or using the computer or cell phone to send threatening or intimidating messages.

“The intent of bullying is to put another person down and make him or her feel small,” Keele said.

Robert Frost

Robert Frost School Counselor Bruce Elliott said prevention and education are keys to preventing bullying. A five-week class on what harassment is and what to do about it is taught to fourth grade students. In fifth grade, students learn the “Steps to Respect. Bullying Prevention Program” that teaches how to build friendships, recognize bullying, deal with it and report it.

From his observation, he sees bullying happening more oftern behind the back.

“By behind the back I mean through rumors, writing notes, and sometimes electronic means,” he said.

Once he is aware of a bullying incident, he talks individually with the students involved to find out what has occurred.

“We work with the student who is bullied to feel safe,” he said.  “We work with the student who bullied through school discipline and by working with he or she to teach ways to can change his/her behavior. Parents are often contacted.”

It’s important for parents to be aware bullying can happen at any age to anyone. He recommends the Stop Bullying Now website at www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/. He also suggests parents of fourth through sixth graders to read There is a Boy in the Girl’s Bathroom, by Louis Sachar. The book shares how a student changes from being a bully to being a friend.

Mark Twain

Keele said he wants to prevent bullying by teaching the bystanders to do or say something. Bystanders are kids who see a classmate being bullied. For many reasons, the bystanders are afraid to stand up to the bully but may feel sad, afraid, helpless or ashamed for not doing anything.

“Bullies love an audience,” Keele said. “I want to teach bystanders how to deal with a bully and how to stand up for the kid who is being bullied.”

He has talked with his staff about being watchful for kids who are being bullied and to be aware of what bullying is.

By creating a climate of trust, he has had students stop by his office to share what’s happening.

“Then it becomes my job to act like a judge and find out the facts,” he said, adding he has a game plan in place for dealing with the bully.

What he has learned is bullying often starts outside the school with the bully sending text messages or emails to the victim. Parents need to be aware of what messages their children are sending and receiving on their cell phones and computers.

“No one wants to be a bully,” Keele said. “It’s not something a kid seeks to become but for whatever reasons the kids uses bullying to feel power over another person.”

Silverton High School

The high school staff takes a hard line on bullying whether it’s physical, verbal or digital harassment.

There were 33 cases of bullying reported in the 2008-09 school year compared with 43 cases reported in the 2009-10 year.

Campus security officers Dan Magee and Julie Yount pay close attention to how the students interact in class and during their free time at school and after-school. Teachers also intervene or alert appropriate staff to any potential issues between students. The school has an open door policy regarding students reporting intimidation or verbal abuse.

“Some of our best information comes from uninvolved students who have witnessed issues between other students and bring their concerns to us,” Magee said. “We have found that if you can nip it in the bud early it is easier to control the outcome and less likely to turn into a physical altercation.”

Peer pressure is a key to limiting the level of bullying in a school.

“If a respected upper classman observes a student harassing another and tells them to ‘knock it off’ the student is much more likely to comply and think about their action than if an adult were to make the same request,” Magee said.

The preferred method of bullying is electronically because it allows the perpetrator to remain anonymous, or at least distanced from the targeted student. It also allows for a pre-planned and well-thought out attack on the person’s character, appearance, or status, Magee said.

It may not be a trend, but the majority of the harassment is being perpetrated by underclassmen, and specifically by females, Magee added.

The maturity level, the history of whether consequences were imposed in the earlier grades, and the level of involvement by the student’s parents, also play a large part in the actions of the students involved.

Magee said parents need to pay attention to the texting and computer networking sites their children are using. They also need to be proactive and realize that their student may be the instigator of harassment or at least a party to it.

“It takes two to tango. Parents need to get involved before the police have to,” he said. “The parent can mediate, block the other involved party’s number, or limit contact on the internet.

The harasser is looking for a response. If they don’t get one, eventually they will move on.

Given the suicides by students in middle school to college that gained national attention this fall, it’s important parents and teachers realize bullying is a serious problem, Keele said, and the best way to prevent bullying is to be informed.

“We need to teach kids to stand up and say something when they see a classmate being bullied,” Keele said.