Some if you may know that I’ve been having close encounters of the medical kind during the last few months. And, no, it wasn’t COVID. It was really nothing super serious, although, for the first time in my life, my doctor ordered me not to exercise. Every other time I’ve gone to a doctor I have been pestered to get […]
I was reading The Wall Street Journal the other day and my heart sank. No, I wasn’t looking at my mutual funds and how they have fallen through the floorboards in the last couple of months. That’s a whole other column. I was reading the results of a national survey. It found that, in 49 states, less than half of […]
I’m probably not alone in this thought, but I can’t wait for the whole pandemic thing to be over. I mean, we’re going on two years and people are still trying to figure out whether they’ll get a shot. Or rather, they are still trying to justify why they will or will not get a shot. I can’t tell people […]
It’s that time of year for the “To-Do” lists to come out. My personal list is the same this year as every other year: lose weight, win the lottery, travel more and screw around less. That last one is the toughest. My DNA is chock full of genes that enable me to shift into neutral at the drop of a […]
As a red-blooded, all-American guy, I’ve been watching a lot of football these days. There’s nothing better than a Sunday afternoon of watching highly paid athletes knock heads with one another to lower the stress level. But as I watched the games I noticed something – actually, it was pretty hard to miss. Often, when a player caught […]
For six hours last month we were all safe. Safe from misinformation, safe from ads targeted at us. Safe from posts that were only there because someone paid for them. Facebook and Instagram were offline. How this happened is anyone’s guess. Facebook said the “configuration” got out of whack. That is IT talk for “I don’t know.” Someone at headquarters […]
The other day I was hanging off a ladder trying to patch a leak in the gutter over our garage doors. It had leaked for 11 years, but this was the moment I chose to fix it. One of my weapons of choice was some thick, industrial-strength waterproof tape. I figured if I used enough of it, anything could be […]
The Olympics have been over for some time now, but I’m not over the Olympics. The thrill of victory – and the agony of defeat – played out on an international stage is the best way I know to recognize our commonality. We are, after all, passengers on a single lonely planet amid billions of galaxies. To keep that spirit […]
The key to good writing is what you leave out. Too often, writing makes its way into the public circus without the benefit of editing, and it’s painful. The basic points may be there but they are crowded by half-baked thoughts and fictionalized versions of reality. Add a dash of ignorance about history – or science or math or politics – […]
We’re all going to be OK. That is the inescapable conclusion I have reached. I was at a minor league baseball game a few weeks ago, scanning the crowd between pitches. There were families enjoying the evening as the boys of summer sparkled on the diamond. The homers were accompanied by lusty cheers, a light breeze played among the pennants […]
One of the few fringe benefits of this pandemic is the fact that my 50th high school reunion was canceled. That’s right, the Conestoga High School Class of 1971 has let the coronavirus get the best of it. I suppose that means the constabulary of Berwyn, Pennsylvania, won’t have to worry about a bunch of 67-year-old duffers running over curbs […]
It’s been a busy year for the researchers here at Sampson Laboratories (motto: You can never do too much useless stuff). One of our intrepid scientists is coming up with an easier way to make carbon fiber parts for airplanes. I’m not really sure how it was supposed to work but I think it involves using Bungee cords to tie […]
When he wasn’t chopping down cherry trees, George Washington used to keep a list of things he could do to improve himself. He did it in the form of a self-help booklet, and while some of the tips involved things like not picking fleas off yourself in the company of others and not complaining about the food you just ate, […]
I love small towns. I’ve lived in several – in Oregon, Minnesota and Alaska. Unless I was forced to, I’d never live in a big city. But I’ve been at a loss to explain to other people just why I like small towns. It’s not just the Fourth of July fireworks or the street festivals. There’s more to it. I […]
I am standing on a spit of land that curls into the Pacific Ocean. As the sun drifts lower in the evening sky, the far-away islands take on a golden hue, basking in the summer twilight. I’m thankful that I’m standing on the northern precipice of the U.S., a place I never had any intention of visiting. I have the […]
There’s one advantage to being a “senior citizen.” You get lots of mail. And phone calls. Ever since I flipped the calendar over on the cool side of 65, all sorts of folks have been lining up to help me with all sorts of things. They offer help setting up a retirement plan, and if I’d only give them all […]
The other day I left my cell phone at home. It was the best mistake I ever made. To me, a cell phone is a leash, a cinder block tied to my leg as I try to do important things, only to be distracted by constant beeping, dinging and vibrating. Some people apparently need to know what Kim Kardashian is […]
Every once in a while I run across a news story that makes me laugh out loud. And, no, I’m not talking about Congress this time, although those guys are always good for a few chuckles. This time, I’m talking about parents. Not all parents, just those who would pay any amount of money to get their kids into the […]
Maybe it’s just me, but the English language seems to be fading into a mash-up of emojis, slang, jargon and gibberish. It breaks my heart when I read some “writing.” It’s nonsensical, pointless, lacking in organization and inexact. Most writers appear to have been absent that day in second grade when the teacher defined a sentence as a complete thought. […]
I like big lists and I cannot lie. Or something like that. With apologies to rapper Sir Mix-a-Lot, I really do like keeping lists, reading lists, and following lists. I’m one of those guys who will sit down with the new telephone book – a really big list – and go through it to see how many names I recognize. […]
It was 16 cents, but what it meant to me was worth a lot more. I was at the convenience store the other day, buying a pint – of 2 percent milk, that is. I buy milk almost every day to have with lunch. When the cashier asked for $1.39 I came up short. I was sure I had the […]
I like Thanksgiving a lot, because it coincides with the best holiday of the year. For want of a better name, I’ll call it Winotopia. The day after Thanksgiving, we rent a big van and load up any leftover relatives, friends, enemies and random people who happen to be hanging around the house and head for the wineries. I don’t […]
I like noise. I should clarify that statement. I like most noise. As a guy who has lived and worked in big and small cities – and places where there are no cities at all – the sounds of people are, to me at least, comforting. Silence is something that I usually avoid, unless I’m writing, when I need to […]
Randy Newman had it right: “I Love L.A.” – with an exclamation mark! I and a couple of my kids recently spent a long weekend in Los Angeles and, while I’m certainly no expert on that city, there’s way more to it than meets the eye. I once was talking with an acquaintance who moved to L.A. from the Midwest. […]
Who am I? Now there’s a question for the ages. You’d think that after all of these years, the answer would be obvious. A look in the mirror would reveal all there is to know. That’s why an email I received recently made me think. It was from one of those DNA screening outfits, the kind that tells people like […]
