The Old Curmudgeon: Bounce back – Smell those roses

April 2014 Posted in Columnists & Opinion

The Old CurmudgeonBy Vern Holmquist

One of these days, yes, one of these days, the good people of Silverton are going to get tired of picking me up off the sidewalk, I know it. It has happened three times now. Once on my Yamaha scooter. It got too fast and heavy, so I got a two-wheeled electric scooter. But my weight and Main Street hill was too much for its brakes and I took a nose dive into concrete and ended up with two nice ladies who stayed with me until more help arrived.

So I got a three-wheeled scooter, called a Zappy and it really zips down the sidewalk at speeds that make it a real fun ride. It can be ridden sitting down or standing, and with the jogs in the sidewalk I feel like I’m 9-feet tall riding the surf in Hawaii. In this case there was a slow walker in front of me and the temptation was too great. I zipped around him full bore. My failing eyes did not see the five-inch curb and I ended up splattered on the sidewalk again. Thanks to the two men who helped me get my 200 lb. carcass in a vertical position. No harm done, just a few bruises.

Now I believe the Zappy is as safe as any mobility scooter, and it is not that I am too old to ride it. It’s more that I feel too young to ride it. It’s too much fun.

All of this reminds me of a tap dancer I saw putting on a show in a club in Denver, Peg Leg Bates. He was a tap dancer with only one leg. Where his other leg should have been he had a wooden leg looking like the bottom half of a crutch painted white. Well, Peg Leg was getting along in years and complained his body was like his old car. The generator wouldn’t gen, the carburetor wouldn’t carb and the pistons didn’t work so good either. I’m not making this up folks, you can check him out on the net.

That’s the way it is. Our body parts just wear out. Vic Meissner used to say “Well, I can’t jump as high as I used to.” One thing good about growing old is that we have more time to smell the roses. There are a lot of good things out there, so don’t waste time. May I suggest us elders listen to the words of Louis Armstrong singing It’s a Wonderful World.

Sorry, comments for this entry are closed at this time.