By Carl Sampson It’s the end of the world, again. I’m not talking about the banking system, which sets itself on fire every few years. Nor am I talking about inflation, which features Congress spraying down the economy with trillions of dollars and amping up inflation at the same time the Federal Reserve is jacking up interest rates to slow […]
Dear Mount Angel Citizens: As your Mayor, I would like to share my thoughts on the upcoming bond election for the Mt. Angel School District. I have reviewed the projects that would be funded by the proceeds of the bond sale. They are very necessary improvements that will greatly improve the safety, security and school environments for our students. Passing […]
During the past several days I have been keeping tabs on an ongoing social media conversation about the proposed 22 space recreational vehicle park near Mark Twain Elementary School and it has really got me to thinking – what is it those who are opposed to the addition of another RV park in Silverton fear most? Even as I write […]
The legislative session has begun in Salem. One vital issue that readers may not be aware of is the need to pay parents to provide in-home care to their minor disabled children. Paying parents to do this work (the State is currently willing to pay anyone to provide this care support except felons and parents) improves the health outcomes for […]
It’s been said that only a meteorologist and an economist can tell you with absolute certainty today why they were wrong yesterday. In the case of the meteorologist, I am reminded of how bizarre things have gotten every time I look out the window. In the case of the economist, I am reminded of that every time I read a […]
My wife and I were heading for the airport, on our way to pick up one of kids. Oh, did we get I-205ed. To the ultimate max. It took us an hour and a half to get from Clackamas to the airport, a distance of 14 miles. This was on a Saturday night. When we took our son back to […]
By Carl Sampson I am standing on a patch of grass watching a man named Brad Wursten defy gravity. He is in a tiny airplane called an MXS-R, which is hanging by its propellor a couple thousand feet in the air. What is keeping him from plummeting to his death in a fireball, I’m not sure. I am sure Mr. […]
By Carl Sampson It’s been my long-held opinion that there is no need for capital punishment as long as there are home improvement projects to be done. Instead of spending eternity on death row, the worst offenders should be sentenced to fixing things around the house or building a fence or painting a bedroom. Nothing is as punishing as standing […]
By Carl Sampson If I wanted to destroy a nation, I wouldn’t use an army, airstrikes or missiles. I would use lines. I would draw lines between people and constantly remind them how different they are from one another. I would remind poor people how rich other people are. I would remind Americans of African, Hispanic, Asian and European descent […]
By Carl Sampson For the 69 percent of Oregonians who cast ballots in the last general election, this will be a busy year. Not only are we going to choose a new president — God help us all with that bunch — we will choose a U.S. senator, member of the U.S. House, governor, secretary of state, attorney general, treasurer, […]
By Carl Sampson Sometimes on a rainy afternoon — we have quite a few in Oregon — I like to listen to music. Not just any music. I like to listen to music with meaning. I’m not talking about religious music necessarily, although much of the great music in history was religious. I could write a whole column just on […]
By Carl Sampson I think I’m going to hire a doctor. Well, not really hire one, but get one to occasionally take a look at me. I’m feeling good but I just want to get a 100,000-mile check-up. First, a disclaimer. I’m not a fan of the medical profession. Every doctor I’ve ever seen — except for a few at […]
By Carl Sampson It used to be said that nothing will make you a bigger liar you than your dog or your kid. “Oh, my dog would never do something like that,” you’d say, just as your dog did that very thing — right on the neighbor’s front yard. Similarly, you’d say, “My child has never done anything like that,” […]
By Carl Sampson I like holidays — all of them. I like Christmas, New Year’s, the Fourth of July, Labor Day — even National Ice Cream Day (the third Sunday in July) and Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept. 19). But my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I like everything about it. I like the fact that it’s not tied to […]
By Carl Sampson This may be the least romantic column ever written. It may even be less romantic than the columns written by those political pundits jabbering about Donald Trump. In fact, it is so unromantic I bet only an accountant could love it. The other day I did something I had put off for, oh, about 27 years. I […]
By Carl Sampson I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel as though I’m getting dumber every day. I just don’t understand what’s wrong with a lot of people. It’s as though they put their brains in a paper bag and left them on the kitchen table as they were heading out the door. But then again, maybe […]
By Carl Sampson I’m sitting at a table outside a bar in some little town whose name I cannot pronounce. The owner brings out a bucket filled with cooked snails. I pick one up, look it in its beady little eyes and chomp down on its head. Welcome to Spain. No matter what I thought I knew about Spain, I […]
By Carl Sampson I’ve always been amazed by the names some parents choose for their children. Some are practical. For example, my Mom always said she chose Carl because she wanted to a make sure I could spell it. I don’t know what that says about her faith in my abilities, but to this day I have not misspelled my […]
By Carl Sampson I love this season. I don’t mean summer. I love graduation season. It’s when middle and high schools, colleges and universities unleash their work product on the world. “Let’s see what this bunch can do,” every teacher is thinking as the diplomas are handed out and the tassels are turned. While that’s exciting enough, what I like […]
By Carl Sampson I feel cheated. When I was a kid in the 1950s and 1960s, the future was going to be awesome beyond words. I remember reading books about how we’d all work four days a week, and fly in our personal helicopters to work on those few days when we had to show up. Life was going to […]
By Carl Sampson I devised a plan to either: 1. End political weirdness as we know it or 2. Create the best reality TV show ever. Here’s why I envision doing – All state and federal politicians would be required to wear body cameras 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. For the past several […]
By Carl Sampson During the past year, I’ve undertaken a study in alternative economics. I call it “The Use of Voluntary Taxation as a Means of Funding Higher Education.” In short, I bought lottery tickets in hopes of getting money to pay for my kids’ college education. The result: It didn’t work. Not only that but I found that the […]
By Carl Sampson I used to think the Internet was destroying society. Now I am sure of it. As a matter of fact, that’s about the only thing I’m sure of these days. Here are eight reasons why I think the Internet causes more trouble than it’s worth. First without rival, the Internet is the biggest source of misinformation, half-truths, […]
It’s a whole new year and I’m pumped. I know that this will be the best year ever! It’s not that I have a crystal ball or that I have a winning Power Ball ticket. It’s just that I know this year will be up to me. Luck or fate or whatever else influences the events that surround me will […]
By Carl Sampson I have a lot of friends in the banking industry. Tons. Bunches. Bushels. Boatloads. Rafts. Anyway you say it, bankers are my friends. They must be, or they wouldn’t send letters to me all of the time. I should explain. In the past year or so, I have received 64 letters in the mail from banks. Each […]
