A Grin at the End: I wish I was smart enough…

September 2015 Posted in Columnists & Opinion

carl-sampsonBy Carl Sampson

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel as though I’m getting dumber every day.

I just don’t understand what’s wrong with a lot of people. It’s as though they put their brains in a paper bag and left them on the kitchen table as they were heading out the door.

But then again, maybe it’s just me.

I often sit back and contemplate the world and the universe beyond. Then I say to myself, “I wish I was smart enough… .”

I wish I was smart enough to understand why the politicians with the biggest mouths and the smallest sense of decency attract the most attention.

And no, I’m not only talking about just Donald Trump. I’m talking about a lot of politicians.

They blather on, speaking half-truths and citing half-accurate “facts” trying to sound good to whoever is around. They complain about “political correctness” but forget that stereotypes and slurs have always been out of fashion.

I wish I was smart enough to understand my cell phone bill. Every month I feel as though I’m taking an IQ test when I look at it. The only constant: It keeps going up.

Speaking of bills, I wish I was smart enough to understand why my municipal water and sewer bill keeps going up. Seems like not too long ago it was $50-ish. Now it’s $90-ish. Am I drinking too much water (and sending it out the other end)?

And I wish I were smart enough to know why our Internet bill went up $12 in a single month.

You’d think I was downloading all of Hillary Clinton’s secret emails instead of a couple of TV shows. Wouldn’t it make sense to include a short explanation of why bills are going up — or down — along with the dollar amounts?

But then again, the world belongs to the accountants. We’re just here to pay for it.

I also think about things that are a bit less, shall we say, whiny.

For example, I wish I was smart enough to understand why, when I look at the night sky, it takes my breath away. Ever since I was a kid, one of my favorite things has been looking up. Maybe it’s because I grew up during the heyday of the space program, or maybe I’m just a dreamer, but peering into the night sky reminds me that I really am a mere grain of sand in the overall scheme of things. To me, that’s both humbling and assuring.

I wish I was smart enough to know why some folks these days don’t just want to get along. Every time I read a newspaper or listen to the news, someone is say something totally jerky, belligerent and generally ornery about someone else. While I’m sure there are people who deserve a swift kick in the rear, they are the smallest minority. If only we spent that energy working to get along instead of working to promote hatred, we’d be way ahead.

That’s what I wish.

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