By Linda Whitmore
The tale of 2008 – the stock market is down, home foreclosures are up, the job market is soft. and times are just plain hard. Perhaps it “‘tis the season to be jolly” but parents are experiencing difficulties they never anticipated would happen in their lifetime. Some are struggling, but they want to make the holidays memorable for the children.
How do adults keep their stress from pervading into the Christmas joy they desire for their families? Pastor Rob Barnes and kindergarten teacher Chelsea Goin, share their thoughts about focusing on the basics to make a happy celebration.
Goin, who teaches at St. Mary’s Public School, says her little students are excited about the holidays. She adds to the anticipation by talking about the various traditions and reading holiday-themed books, such as “Christmas Cookies: Bite-size holiday lessons.”
In this book, words such as “celebrate,” “thoughtful,” “selfish,” “sharing” and “gratitude” are explained and open up discussion.
In the classroom, teachers don’t promote religion, or Santa Claus, she said, but holiday practices are explained and family traditions are shared.
Goin said family financial stresses don’t seem to have affected the mood of her 5-year-old students. She knows of one family where the children were told there would be no Christmas this year because there was no money.
School personnel talked to the parents to see if there was a need and “we’ve taken care of the family.”
Goin urges families in need talk to school counselors. There is help available, she said. Also, those who can afford to help out might contact the school to see what they can do.
Giving and volunteering are central to the holiday season, she said.
For Christians, “giving is what the season’s all about,” Goin said. “We got a gift in Jesus, that’s why we give gifts for Christmas.”
In her own family, Goin has a tradition that she recommends. Children receive “one thing they want, one thing they need, one thing they can play with and one thing to read.”
Outlying family members are brought in to fill these four categories. “One uncle likes to buy books, so he gets ‘the one thing to read.’ Grandparents always like to by clothes, so they get the ‘one thing they need.’”
Goin said families might talk to their children about this concept of four gifts and tell them that some families won’t be getting something in each category. The parents could ask their children if they would like to receive just a couple of things this year and share gifts with other children.
She said families who can help might contribute presents for those whose needs are posted on the Tree of Giving at Roth’s or participate in a toy drive. Also, “Counselors and teachers at every school are aware of needy kids. Contact the school to donate one of those things,” Goin said.
Giving and volunteering really makes an impression on children, she said.
“My son and I have delivered Christmas boxes to other families. The boxes were gifts from others, but just delivering really turns children’s heads,” she said. Also, “If you’re volunteering, think of the elderly. They often don’t have family visits, don’t see children.” They appreciate having company “even if it’s just a five-minute visit to give a candy cane.”
Pastor Barnes concurred. “Jesus taught us it’s better to give than receive. It’s not just a slogan – it’s true.”
At Silver Creek Fellowship, where he has participated since it was founded in 1988 and been pastor since 2001, “We’ve always tried to de-emphasize the commercial, me-centered, Christmas.”
This year, as always, he said, the church is focusing on giving. Children have been gathering spare change, which will be placed in a special offering Dec. 21 for children in India.
“We teach our kids that we live in a privileged society. Most people around the world don’t have the things that we have. We recognize that and share with others. We have a privilege and responsibility – it’s a delight as well – to share with others.”
A greater emphasis on giving has been placed before the adults of the congregation, too.
“We’re asking all of our people this year to give one less present and to take the amount they would have spent to a charitable organization like SACA (Silverton Area Community Aid) or a world charitable organization like we have here.”
The fellowship also has collected food and gifts for needy people in Silverton. “Part of our understanding of the Gospel is to bless the community that we are part of. We love this town,” Barnes said.
“We want Christmas to not be so much about Christmas trees and meals – although we like those things – but we want it to be about Jesus’ birthday.”
To that aim, Barnes, whose large extended family lives in the area, has a tradition of giving his grandchildren a trinket and a Bible reading or prayer each day of Advent.
“When we meet together as a family on Christmas, we’ll read the Christmas story and I’ll ask family members to share about a meaningful remembrance from the past,” he said. Just being together is an important part of their celebration. “We extend the day as long as possible – we don’t rush through. We take a lot of pictures. I’ll usually tell stories about family members who aren’t here anymore.”
On Christmas Eve, they serve oyster stew. It’s a long-held tradition, even though it’s not favored by some of the younger set, he said. But Barnes believes it’s a good custom to serve the foods that are part of one’s heritage.
“It’s an important part of families not to lose track of where they came from.”
Family unity, traditions, sharing and focusing on the true meanings of one’s heritage is the central core of the holidays.
“The overriding thing is that Christmas is the celebration of good news. There is no news about our economy or the world situation that is bad enough to put a damper on the news that Christmas is good news,” Barnes said.
