By Carl Sampson
When I was a teenager in Philadelphia, spring meant one thing. It was the time to pack a picnic lunch and take the girlfriend to Valley Forge Park. For those of you who haven’t been there, the park consists of wide open grassy fields and forests. It was where Gen. George Washington’s troops spent the winter in 1777 and 1778.
They called it the “winter of suffering” but I called it the best place to hang out in Eastern Pennsylvania.
History aside, it was an awesome place to detail the car. Once we got there, I — and about 350 other motor heads and their girlfriends — would drive our Chevelles, Mustangs and GTOs onto the grass to find the perfect spot. Then the girlfriends would sunbathe while we waxed our cars and cleaned out the insides.
Since that time, cleaning the cars from top to bottom has been a rite of spring.
As the family has grown, it’s also become something of an archeological exercise. With four boys spending varying amounts of time in the car, there’s no telling what I’ll find.
The other day, my project was cleaning out our SUV.
First, a disclaimer. There was a time when I swore I would never own an SUV, or anything larger than a Mustang. But time overtakes such vows, and now we own one of those “family” cars.
The main thing I noticed about having a larger car is it can hold more junk. Lots more.
I pulled out the shop vacuum and the rags and proceeded to dig my way through the remnants of the past year hidden on, under and around the seats.
The first thing I found was a couple of umbrellas. Living in Western Oregon, where it rains even during droughts, having an umbrella or two on hand only makes sense. There have been times when I almost drowned getting across the parking lot from the office to the car. I could have used an umbrella, if not a boat.
I also found two pairs of sunglasses. Considering the fact that I don’t wear sunglasses, I guess that’s OK. I’m sure someone wears them.
I also found $1.25 in change. And a package of gum and four different kinds of candy. It must have been my lucky day. I also found a toothbrush — probably for after eating all of that candy.
But as I dug deeper the remnants got even more interesting.
Like the lamp I found. It wasn’t a little battery-powered lamp. It was a full-size, in your living room lamp, with a light bulb but no shade.
I also ran across a bottle of bubble-making solution — and a bag of Tostitos brand corn chips. Apparently, I missed that party. Then there was the disc that had a 2002 version of Microsoft Windows on it. And 14 books. And three bottles of sunscreen. And about a pound and a half of sand and a pair of jumper cables. And about 4,000 golf tees.
By the time I finished, I had pulled out a lot of junk. I figure it was about enough junk to fill three Mustangs, a Chevelle and two GTOs.
The question remains if anyone will claim this stuff. I have dibs on the books, golf tees and money. Though, I am still wondering about where that lamp came from.
