The Man About Town: Guaranteed not to change… until it does

April 2013 Posted in Columnists & Opinion

By Jim Kinghorn

The city council in Kerry, Ireland recently decided to issue a limited number of DUI permits that would allow some drivers to legally drive drunk. The law is targeted toward lonely seniors that need the camaraderie of the pub but are unlikely to encounter anyone else on the isolated roads at night. It leaves The Man remembering that old ZZ Top song “How could anyone be so unkind, to arrest a man for driving while blind”… Hmmmm, I’m lonely and spend a lot of time on the back road… Whaddya say Chief?

Speaking of the local constabulary, Dubai just added a new $550,000 Lamborghini squad car to its fleet just to show “how classy Dubai is.” Are we classy?… I say again… Whaddya say Chief?

A new bar recently opened in beautiful downtown Mount Angel but I’m not sure what it’s called… ‘cause there’s no sign….

Spirit Expeditions Ghost Tours has added, you guessed it, Silverton to its list of ghost tour locations. The Friday, Sunday and Monday night walking tours start at the Palace Theater and end with a paranormal reading upstairs at Mac’s Place… which is weird because the zombies and paranormal creatures are usually found downstairs at the bar… Call 503-689-1450 for reservations and all the spine tingling details…

If you’re wondering about the tan that Denny Stoll is sportin’ in the land of the pasty white, ask him about his recent career as a ballboy for the Arizona Diamondbacks…

Woo boy howdy, better take a knee because there’s a lot going on in the Silverton business community. Soooooo, cue the music and hang on tight for another installment of The Man’s Business Musical Chairs… Last month it was reported here that Dixon Bledsoe was landing the ReMax balloon at First and Main, well that idea popped and it looks like they may end up in Randy Mitchell’s CPA office as Randy is moving back to his previous location on First Street as soon as renovations are completed… Bonnie Lester is closing both locations of her Whimsy and Whimsy for Kids empire and reopening as the Whimsy “superstore” in the former Helping Hands location on Main Street… Aylene Geringer is boxing up her chocolates and moving The Chocolate Box across the street to where The Purl District yarn store was, Laurie Carter will move a new yarn and gift store into the vacated Whimsy for Kids spot on Oak Street and The Green Store moved across the street to the former Item 9 location, also sending their coffee shop across the other street to the front of O’Brien’s Restaurant… Pudge’s Pub closed but new owners Benjamin Rash and Ryan Gengler are remodeling and will soon re-open it as The Gallon House. Outlaw Steel and Design is opening a home decor and yard art store at First and Main where The Black Lily used to be, West Coast Bank didn’t move anywhere but is now known as Columbia State Bank… Harvey’s RV parts has opened in the old Mercantile location on High Street and Carol Goodwin is opening  Karmel Country Caramel Corn out by Hi-School Pharmacy… Darrel Mathews has apparently decided that standing knee deep in chicken poop and sawdust all day is preferable to having middle aged, balding columnists coming into Bangs and Burns demanding a really cool new hairstyle that just ain’t  gonna happen, so he is retiring (again) although Maid Marion Varney will continue a limited schedule back at Natural Hair Designs on Jersey Street so she doesn’t have to listen to Darrel babble on all day… and Linda Loyd will open Twisted Mane in their old shop out on South Water Street… So there you have it, a factual, set in stone, absolutely dependable reporting of what’s going on… that will probably all change by the time this ink is dry….

If you like what you read, great. If not, you can take your chances and complain when you see The Man out on the street collecting hearsay and rumors. Of course, that might make you column fodder for next time!

See you on the street!

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