By Dixon Bledsoe
My vast legion of readers are kind enough to tell me they like reading POL because it is usually positive.
“Vast legion” is actually five regular readers and two who simply like to make small talk, but the point is I am an optimist. Not a Pollyanna but a true optimist – my glass is half-full and I am grateful for the glass. Some things, however, just seem to irritate me.
Like the pilot who flies low over Silverton at 8:30 a.m. on Sunday mornings when the weather is nice – Why? After a long work week, the well-deserved serenity brought on by my morning coffee and paper is shattered with your audio-aerial pollution. Don’t they make mufflers for planes? How does Tuesday at 3:15 p.m. look for your next flight? Maybe over Mulino.
To the people who pick up trash off our sidewalks just because they have pride in their hometown, thank you. We’ve all walked by a wadded up fast food wrapper or almost-drained 400 oz. Big Guzzle that someone was just too lazy to throw in the trash can. Shame on the slovenly.
To those who seem to have their mobile phones surgically attached to their hands – fine. It’s your call (inadvertent phone joke). But maybe when visiting the 80-year-old grandma who adores you, your phone could have some quality alone time back in the car. Those who text or take non-essential phone calls while someone is conversing with them are annoying and rude. There, I said it.
To those who know that the world does not revolve around or need to hear their every word, thank you for the courtesy and discretion. It amazes me the number of people who walk in public talking with a friend or on their Blue Tooth at full volume with no social filters, and a certain obliviousness to the fact that, 1) There are other people in the room, and 2) They probably don’t need to hear that you are about to drink your weight in Don Julio Tequila because of a grueling 18-hour work week at the video store. I don’t care. Keep it to yourself.
To those who understand being called “self-absorbed” is not a compliment and that two-way conversations are more fun for both parties, bless you.
To those who make the effort and fall short or win, bless you for trying. To those who cheat, I don’t like you. I don’t care if “everybody” is taking banned substances to improve athletic performance or downloading tunes for free. If you can’t win without cheating, try doing what the rest of us do – play fair, maybe fail, and pat ourselves on the back for the effort. The Olympics are coming soon. Thank you to the athletes, coaches, parents, partners and teammates for giving us what will invariably be incredible stories with beautiful, bittersweet or heartbreaking endings. Be proud to represent all 300 million of us who wish you well and would trade places with you in a heartbeat. Compete hard, play fair, and have the time of your lives in London. Donate your medal to a worthy cause if you cheat since it was stolen from someone who didn’t.
To those who are petitioning to make marijuana legal for adults in November, how about working at least half as hard to improve the lives of kids instead? Like we need more impaired drivers on the road instead of art, music and physical education in our classrooms.
To those who look for solid solutions to complex social and financial problems, thank you for the honest effort. To those who recite easy solution sound bites spoon-fed to you by politicians and incendiary talk-show hosts, do your homework. It is like making your first dollar – it is much more meaningful when you earned it yourself rather than having someone give it to you.
To those who gave money, despite the down economy, to buy those big, gorgeous pots of flowers we see hanging around town, thank you for your generosity and willingness to make this place even more beautiful. Pollyanna is back in the house!
