Editor’s note: Who needs assistance from local food banks? This family asked their names be withheld to protect their children’s privacy.
By Kristine Thomas
Ellen was living the “American Dream.”
Along with her husband and two teenage children, she rented a home where she had a garden, two cars and pets. She had a full-time job making $14 an hour as an advocate for homeless families.
Then, she said, she was “blindsided.”
Her downward spiral was a combination of her husband telling her he was seeing someone else; a landlord informing her the house was going to be rented to a family member and she would need to move; and the office politics and stress at her job becoming so overwhelming that she felt forced to quit – without unemployment or insurance benefits in January.
“I felt I was blindsided by things I couldn’t control,” she said. “I felt I had worked so hard so it wouldn’t happen to me.”
Bouncing from place to place, Ellen managed to scrape by – she sold her possessions including jewelry and an antique wardrobe – both family heirlooms.
“I didn’t want to ask for help so I sold almost everything I had,” she said. “My car was broken into and all the things that made me feel like I was making it in life – like my iPod – were stolen.”
In the spring, her husband told her that he had made a mistake and wanted to get back together.
“He continued to do the same thing, plus things started getting emotionally bad were I felt unsafe,” Ellen said. “My kids were really stressed out.”
She found a job working 117 hours a month making $10.20 an hour, bring home about $1,000 a month after taxes. The least expensive apartment she could find was $450.
“To get into it, I would need $450 plus a deposit,” she said. “That’s half my paycheck.”
As things continued to deteriorate with her husband, she decided she needed to find yet another place to live.
“I knew the situation I was in wasn’t what I wanted for my children and I didn’t want it for me,” she said.
She is now a resident at St. Joseph Shelter, a homeless shelter operated by the Benedictine Sisters in Mount Angel. As an advocate for homeless families, Ellen used to refer people to St. Joseph Shelter, which serves an average of 152 people a year in the family program and 148 single migrant/seasonal workers.
“I have been homeless before and I have worked really hard to avoid being so again,” she said, adding she has a degree in social work from George Fox University. “I felt I had no other choice than to come here. School was getting ready to start and the place I was living in wasn’t safe.”
Seeing her children laugh and play with the younger children at the shelter has made her realize she made the right decision.
“I wanted my kids in a stable environment,” she said. “It has been a huge relief to see the kids not having so much stress.”
Wiping away tears, she smiles at the irony that she has gone from being an advocate for homeless families to having a homeless family.
“I have always tried to be prepared so I would avoid this,” she said. “I honestly think no one can predict what will happen in life.”
What upsets her is the stereotype associated with people who are homeless.
“I hear homeless families referred to as ‘those people,’” she said. “People think if you are homeless that you are lazy.”
Ellen said you can work hard and still not make enough to pay for rent, gasoline, groceries, utilities and other expenses.
“I pay $180 a month to stay here,” she said. “Part of what I pay – if I pay on time – is put into a saving account so I can have a down payment for an apartment. I had a goal to save so much every month so I could move into an apartment but so far I haven’t been able to meet that goal because of day-to-day costs like shampoo and gas.”
She gives herself the same advice she used to give homeless clients.
“I tell myself to take my power back,” she said. “To find my strengths. People told me I would never make it through college and graduate. I did. I just have to find my strengths again.”
At the moment, Ellen doesn’t believe in the American dream. But she’s trying.
“I think it can be restored,” she said. “Everything goes in cycles – the good times and the bad times. I just have to keep trying the best I can.”
